About us

We roast because we care

Roasting + empathy + practical advice. The friend who tells you there’s spinach in your teeth, then hands you a toothpick.

Our story

It started in a group chat

You’re an Idiot started the way all great businesses start: two sisters, a group chat, and a screenshot of a man whose only listed hobby was napping.

One of us was on the dating apps. The other was hearing about it. Daily. Somewhere around the fourth fish photo of the week, one of us said it out loud: “He just needs a better personality.” It’s been the unofficial company motto ever since.

Then we noticed something: most of these men weren’t monsters. They were just untrained. Nobody had ever told them that “hey” isn’t an opening line.

So we decided to be the friends who tell them.

The team

Meet the departments

Head of Idiot Prevention

Runs the coaching. Has read more bad bios than any human should. Believes every man can be saved, except the ones in Case File #0090.

Portrait coming soon (we’re drawing it).

Field Research Department

Currently on the dating apps, gathering evidence so you don’t have to. Source of The Female Perspective™. Has seen things. So many fish.

Portrait coming soon (she’s busy swiping).

What we believe

House rules

Roast the habit, not the human.

“Hey” is idiotic. You are not. You’re just doing an idiotic thing.

Never punch at women.

The joke is always on the guy’s habits or the people selling tricks. Never on her fear, her safety or her choices.

Teach skills, not tricks.

Scripts break the moment she says something unexpected. Skills don’t.

Fact-check the jokes.

Every stat on this site has a source. Here’s how we pick them.

A quick serious bit

It’s not just you

If dating feels impossible right now, you’re in a lot of company. Here’s what the research actually says, minus the roasting.

Loneliness is common. About one in five adults under 50 often feel lonely, men and women alike. Where men differ is reaching out: 38% of men would turn to a friend for support, compared with 54% of women. Pew Research Center 2025 · US
You may have skipped the tutorial level. Only 58% of Gen Z dated as teenagers, and a third of Gen Z men never did. Survey Center on American Life 2025 · US
Rejection is the job, not a verdict. Men make up 70% of the people who get turned down “often” or “every time.” It’s how the system works, not proof that you’re broken. Survey Center on American Life 2025 · US
Nobody feels confident. Only 29% of young single men feel confident approaching someone they like. You’re in the majority. Institute for Family Studies 2026 · US
You went better than you think. After a conversation, people consistently underestimate how much the other person liked them. Your inner critic is an unreliable narrator. Boothby et al. 2018 · peer-reviewed
Practice works. In a study where people talked to one stranger a day for a week, they were rejected far less than they predicted and grew more confident. Try the week for free. Sandstrom, Boothby & Cooney 2022 · peer-reviewed

If it’s more than dating, if low mood, anxiety or loneliness is running your life, please talk to a doctor or a therapist. That’s not a dating-coach job, and there’s no shame in it. Men are less likely than women to get treatment (42% vs 57% of those with a mental illness in the US). Be the exception.

Why we don’t sell tricks

“Alpha” is a sports term

Pickup gurus sell negging, dominance and “techniques.” We don’t, and not only because it’s gross. It doesn’t work.

Negging backfires

People rate negging as more harmful than an ordinary pickup line.

Green, Kukan & Tully 2017 · UK · peer-reviewed

Pickup tactics have a tiny audience

The men who use them score higher in hostile sexism, and the women who respond to them hold sexist views too. Most women don’t respond at all.

Hall & Canterberry 2011 · US · peer-reviewed

Respect beats dominance

Women preferred men with prestige, respect earned through skill, over men who dominate others.

Snyder, Kirkpatrick & Barrett 2008 · US · peer-reviewed

The worldview costs you too

Men high in hostile sexism read their partners as more negative than they are, and both partners end up less happy.

Hammond & Overall 2013 · New Zealand · peer-reviewed

The gurus don’t fix loneliness

Young US men who like and trust Andrew Tate report feeling lonely just as often as other young men.

Young Men Research Project 2025 · US · survey

Conversation is the real move

49% of singles have fallen for someone they weren’t attracted to at first, most often because of great conversation.

Match Singles in America 2026 · US · app-funded survey

Ready when you are

Let’s make you slightly less embarrassing.

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